The truth is,everyone is going to hurt you. You just have to find the ones worth suffering for. -Bob Marley
Ok, back to my journey. Before I continue though, I want to tell you something. People that know me well know that I speak the truth – even if it hurts. So if you are reading this, you aren’t getting a fake, romanticized love story or something to get some kind of ratings. This also isn’t going to be a Twin bashing or blame game, because to disrespect my TF and what we went through, is to disrespect myself. Remember my kindred spirits, we are all One and self-love is what we are learning here.
I will be as kind and loving as I can, and represent both sides of the story, because my twin and I went through Hell and we certainly aren’t back again. In fact, I think we both miserably failed in our journey at this point. It didn’t need to be that way – or did it? I know that isn’t very self-loving of me to say – but it is what it is. We also got to experience enough of our own Heaven, to know that there is so much out there it is beyond comprehension – and that the ride at this point is so much more important than reaching the destination. There is still time for that and the Universe will allow it to play itself out exactly as it’s supposed to. Scene 2….
It was the middle of October 2012, and I was checking messages on my phone, when message number 3 started and I heard a familiar voice. It went a little something like this, “Hi, I just saw that you called. I hope you are well, and I trust you are brilliant. It’s good to see your name come up on my caller id, and I want to see how you’re doing. Give me a call, I’d love to talk to you.” Now, this may seem like a normal kind of message to you, but there is one key thing missing here. I DIDN’T CALL HIS NUMBER – IN FACT I HAD NO IDEA HIS NUMBER WAS STILL IN MY PHONE. And so it begins….I actually still have this message saved and it shows the date he left it – because it was a pivotal moment that would signify magic and chaos to come. It was also the start of cosmic events, repeating number sequences, and telepathic experiences. (see my Signs post)
I was in the middle of work, so although I was intrigued by his message, I frankly didn’t have time to consider any implications at that moment. So another month passed, and he left me another message saying he would love to catch up. Again, I was so busy that I forgot to return the call! Thanksgiving came and went, and Christmas was on its way. It was a bit of a soul searching holiday season, because I had ended a relationship a few months back, and I was focusing on what I wanted the New Year to bring. On December 26th, I was sitting at the table, when I got a text that read: Happy Holidays! I was thinking of taking a trip after the 1st and was wondering what you think about me coming to Seattle?
I read that text, and all I can tell you is that before I even really figured out who sent it, I replied with an emphatic YES!!! Now remember, it had been 9 years since I had seen this person, and 6 years since we had last spoken. It was utterly ridiculous when I think about it long enough – but just as with our first meet – it was uncontrollable and almost automatic. I was laughing uncontrollably after our conversation, and couldn’t stop smiling. It still gives me chills to remember all of the details, and as you continue to read my journey, I think you will learn to do what I have had to do all along. LOVE and RESPECT the process – even when it brings you to the brink of madness. And trust me, it WILL. And it is BEAUTIFUL.
Love and Light